Last week we covered ICD-10 codes for attacks by Rudolph. This week it’s codes for office parties gone wrong. Here is our take on radio disc jockey Bob Rivers hit parody song, The Twelve Pains of Christmas.
When ICD-10 gets you down this holiday, reflect on these funny codes and have a laugh.
OFFICE PARTIES GONE WRONG
Y92.51: Private commercial establishments as the place of occurrence of the external cause
Office party gone bad. OK, maybe not like Die Hard wrong, but things happen, right? And that is before Winter libations enter the picture.
F10.129: Alcohol abuse with intoxication, unspecified
We all love a good office holiday party, especially if there is an open bar. However, if you enjoy too much Christmas spirit…or Merry Manhattans, you could suffer a not so jolly ho-ho-hangover—or worse (see below).
W00.1: Fall from stairs and steps due to ice and snow
While you may not need ice or snow to assist with the fall…especially if F10.129 is involved.
T75.4XXA: Electrocution, initial encounter
When you pass a house hanging Christmas lights all year, we often nod with a hint of understanding. From stringing up lights that have bare wiring exposed to excessive extension cords, there are dozens of unsafe ways to employ Christmas lights. And that is even before we climb on a ladder.
W11.XXXA: Fall on and from ladder, initial encounter
Sure we laughed as master of exterior illumination Clark Griswold battled his aluminum ladder, light strand and staple gun. But most of us do not have piles of fluffy snow or hedges to break our falls. Earth hurts when falling from above 10 feet. Luckily, a genius invented a ground light that with a flip of a switch projects a Griswold-worthy house illumination. God bless inventors.
Y93.H: Activities involving exterior property and land maintenance, building and construction
As ABC’s Christmas Light Fights shows, the Holiday war is not limited to air as entire Ozzie and Harriet front yards have now become engulfed in boards, tracks, inflatables, lights, figurines, water, lasers, towers, rides, live animals, and maybe even a crooning Wayne Newton.
HOLIDAY TOURIST ON PARADE
T28.0XXA: Burn of mouth and pharynx, initial encounter
We all get caught up in the moment at the ice skating rink or Christmas Tree lot for a warm drink. Then we take a sip of that piping hot apple cider or hot cocoa and…the burn…is TREE-MENDOUS!
W55.32XA: Struck by other hoof stock, initial encounter
Reindeer sure look friendly, until you take one in the kisser from Donner…or Blitzen.
W55.32: Struck by other hoof stock
In case you were not smart enough to get out of the first kick.
W55.31: Bitten by other hoof stock
In case Rudolph gets a bit frisky and takes a nibble out of you.
Y93.2: Activities involving ice and snow
If you are older than 40 and engage in sliding on any frozen water, albeit ice or snow, you have been warned. Pain hurts. And do not spray that Griswold concoction on the bottom of your sled or saucer.
Y93.21: Activity, ice skating
Most likely, you are not Dorothy Hamill or Wayne Gretzky. Wear many layers on the ice and always lean forward. If all else fails, don’t let go of the wall.
Y92.22: Religious Institution as Place of Occurrence
‘Tis the reason for the season, but too much spiked eggnog before worship is not a great recipe for holiness.
CHRISTMAS AROUND THE HOUSE
T63.79: Toxic effect of contact with other venomous plant
Dog owners are insufferable with the message: mistletoe, poinsettia, and holly berries are all poisonous. Do not eat. If you have, then you may also have cod F10.12 (see above). But children can get a little too curious about these colorful, decorative plants.
S30.841A: External constriction of abdominal wall, initial encounter
Santa Claus uses magic to get down a chimney. Any attempts by any person who attempts to surprise the little tykes by sliding down the smokestack will either land the person in ER or the morgue.
Y93.G3: Activity, cooking and baking
Because nothing screams experimentation like being in the kitchen during the Holidays. Chef Frankenstein with the cookie dough and a pantry of cooking and baking items, many with expiration dates that being with a “1.”
R10.0: Acute abdomen
We warned you to stay away from Aunt Agnes’ infamous fruitcake. Even she does not know what’s in it.
W34.110: Accidental malfunction of BB gun
Yes, they really do make an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.
Yes, you cannot wait to start firing hip shots in the backyard. Make sure to sport those cheap sunglasses before you get your Christmas Story Ralphie on.
X00.0XXA: Exposure to flames in uncontrolled fire in building or structure, initial encounter
In Christmas Vacation, we have all seen what one careless Cigar toss from Uncle Louie can do to a well-decorated tree on life support. Sure it may have been an ugly tree, but at least it was a tree.
T15.91XA: Foreign body on external eye, part unspecified, right eye, initial encounter
If the BB gun or flying Christmas branch does not get your eye, be on the lookout for when dear old Dad pops that Champagne cork across the room.
W53.21: Bitten by squirrel
Ask Clark Griswold. It can happen. Who knows what lurks in those once live trees?
V9542XA: Spacecraft crash injuring occupant
If you dare get in Santa’s sleigh just remember…IT’S A REALLY OLD SLEIGH DRIVEN BY A REALLY OLD MAN! Buckle up.